I felt like I should apologize. I was probably wearing a festively bright Eddie Bauer polo shirt and kicky capri pants with sandals and pink toenails when I should have been wearing something black and leather, or purple and velvety. With silver chains and blood-red lipstick. Or something.
It's just that I prefer keep my darker thoughts well hidden under a layer of chipper cotton tees and preppy ponytails. That way, no one suspects my true nature. Plus I have a white dog, and the hairs would be pure hell to get out of velvet.
But look at this:
Most people look at that ad and probably think, "Oh, no! I'd better get insurance so my children are taken care of!" or possibly, "Shithead advertisers transparently preying on my fear of mortality!" But I look at it and think, "That little girl is going to kill her daddy in his sleep and they're going to find him with a Raggedy Anne doll head stuffed in his esophagus."
And then I giggle a little. And go shopping for a new polo shirt.
